A goodbye to an old friend.


As the sun was rising on Monday morning, I said goodbye to an old friend. I spent the night at the barn with my mom and our good friend Dawn and together we walked my horse, Missy, across the rainbow bridge from this world into the next. My heart is so heavy today. 

Missy came into my life 18 years ago... and when I think of some of my fondest adolescent memories, she's right there at the center of them. The bond that grows between a horse and her rider is of otherworldly proportions. There's a transformational kind of feeling that happens when you trust a galloping, thousand pound animal with your life. When the wind is blowing through your hair and hers and not a word is spoken but you each can feel the other's happiness. The other's trust. The other's freedom. 

When I was a child, she helped to teach me confidence and how to be brave. When I was a teenager she taught me about loyalty and friendship. When I was a young adult and I needed it the most, she taught me about patience, and forgiveness. When I was pregnant she taught me about trust when she would put her nose to the ground so I could use her neck as a slide, and about love when she would gently touch her nose to my growing belly. And now that I'm a mother, she has taught me better than anyone else could, the importance of not losing myself. She has faithfully kept a light burning for me- to help me to not lose the me before him. And the me before them. And I'm so so thankful for that. And then last night, when I held her head in my arms and she took her last breaths, she taught me about being strong, and also about letting go. 

It feels oddly like she took a piece me with her when she left. Like that chunk of my hair that I cut off and braided into her mane was more than just hair. Words can never express how important she is to me and how much these last 18 years of friendship have meant. Peaceful travels to you, sweet Missy, until we meet again. You are so, so loved. 







^^^ I left the barn on Monday morning and Dawn agreed to handle Missy's burial arrangements. Later in the day she texted to tell me that at the minute they laid Missy to rest that despite the fact that there was no wind that day, a huge dust storm blew all around the farm for several minutes before blowing out. She told me that she gave Missy the best view of the farm at the top of the hill in the back field between two oak trees. I immediately knew exactly what spot she was talking about and I remembered taking a photo of that very spot a few years back. So I dug up this photo that I took years ago. Missy looking at that exact spot at the top of the hill, heavenly-like sunlight shining between the oak trees. Its as if she knew that that was always her spot. She always seemed to have a larger than life kind of soul, so I don't doubt it for even a minute. 

2 comments

  1. i am so so so sorry for your loss. i relate too well, as i've had my horse for 19 years and the end of our story together is absolutely one of the things i fear the most. you said this all so well, though, and what an incredible resting spot for her there on her hill! beautiful photos and beautiful memories of you two together. sending love! xo

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  2. Tisse... I was so torn on whether or not to read this post... I knew I would bawl like a baby... I am so emotional about animals, especially horses. I broke down crying reading about Secretariat just the other day, even though I knew his story well. This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful horse. I am sorry for your loss and sadness. That last picture... Sigh. Love and hugs. ❤️

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Thank you so much for your comment, I read and appreciate each one!

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