Nursing Weston.


I want to start off by saying that I can't even begin to describe what a little angel this boy is. We are at seven weeks now and so far he is totally one of those mythical "easy babies" I've heard people talk so much about. He's happy all the time, only cries if he's sleepy or hungry and he can fall asleep wherever. At seven weeks this may not seem like much of an accomplishment but with Navi these things were luxuries I was never afforded. She was more of a high maintenance baby and on top of it she's always been able to fight sleep like no one's business. These seven weeks with my boy have been nothing short of a dream come true. Prior to having Navi I always envisioned myself as being a boy mom and then after playing mommy to a little lady for three years I couldn't see myself doing anything but having girls. And then this guy came along and BAM! I'm all the sudden a boy mama and a girl mama now- and holy cow is it spectacular. And speaking of things that have been spectacular, lets talk about nursing.

If you've been reading along here for awhile you know that I exclusively pumped for Navi for a year (you can read a post I wrote about that for the folks over at What to Expect, HERE. And a post I wrote on here ages ago, HERE). While I was pregnant with Weston, the fear of whether or not we would be able to have a nursing relationship was something that caused me a lot of stress. All of the nervousness I had related to his birthing day wasn't due to the actual act of birthing but instead the fear of once again not being able to breastfeed. To my surprise, all of my worrying was for nothing and he took to nursing right away like a champ.

The first week and a half or so was pretty rocky while we worked on getting his latch right. My nipples were cracked and bleeding with every feeding and it got to the point that I was cringing and holding my breath every time he would latch to keep myself from crying. Of course we had gone the whole lactation consultant route and I got a few pointers that helped a bit but nothing to really write home about. Evening/nighttime seemed to be the worst for us- the sleepier he was less efficiently he would latch. One night, I think it was day five or so, I had really hit my breaking point. I sent Chris to the store for a nipple shields, some fancy chocolate and some baby formula. I told him I didn't know how much longer I could deal. He assured me that I was strong and that Weston and I would come out on the other side of this stronger than before... just like with Na. I knew he was right. So that night I tried using the nipple shield. He wouldn't take it. So we pushed through. And I'm sure woke Chris several times in the night with my sharp gasp each time Weston would feed. A few days later he just woke up and all the sudden knew what he was doing. He latched like a pro and there was no pain. Still sore, obviously, but it didn't feel like anyone was shoving needles in my nipple. Huzzah! Nighttime was still a bit rocky so I tried the shield again and to my surprise he took it. We nursed a few nights using the shield for the first 5 minutes or so of each feed and then by the time he was two weeks old he was well on his way to being a nursing professional. Of course we still have our trials every now and then, usually in the form of random nipple chomping and what not- but that's neither here nor there ;)

So for any of you past or present exclusive pumpers reading along here and wondering if there will ever be a life beyond pumpland, I'm here to tell you that yes, there will be. And it. is. glorious! I told Chris the other day that I never fully realized how brutal of an experience I had the first time around until I finally got to see just how easy and enjoyable things can be on this side of the fence. And though everything has undoubtedly worked out exactly as it was suppose to, I still can't help but feel bad for my former self and the hours she spent hooked up to that noisy pump.

Holding this angel boy next to my heart throughout the day, feeding him, comforting him... It may sound foolish, but it has healed me. I just don't know any other way to say it. He loves to lay beside me, cradled in my arms as he falls asleep at night. He cuddles into my chest and puppy-dog scoots closer and closer until there's no spaces left between us. He holds his arm over his face as he falls asleep, just like his sister. Watching his eyelids flutter as he falls asleep, the way he smiles when his gaze catches mine, seeing Navi sit beside me nursing her dolls- these moments will forever be some of my most cherished. This life is so far beyond anything I've ever dreamed up. 

And PS - if you're in the market, my friend Lindsay recommended THIS book to me when I was pregnant and I found it to be extremely informative and also helped to restore some of my shattered nursing competency confidence. And for all the kind messages I've received, encouraging and congratulating me in my breastfeeding journey with Weston, thank you thank you thank you! <3


 


2 comments

  1. Oh my I have loved reading this. I have a five week old boy (my second) and I feel like it is so wonderful to have someone to relate to on a nursing journey. My first would not latch so I pumped for her, however, not for as long as you did for your little miss! (props to you momma!). I was so determined when I got pregnant this time around to nurse my babe. He latched like a champ. We are working through struggles (it seems new ones every week). But we are doing it and it feels amazing! Such a wonderful read thanks for sharing!

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  2. I found your account on IG a little while back and I absolutely wonderful. This spoke to my heart SO much! I pumped forever with my first, she would just not latch. And it was hurtful and oh so painful. And then my son came along and I was determined and sooo very scared that it wouldn't work. He actually latched but through cracked, bleeding nipples and cringing in pain every time he latched on. So of course your story made me cry because now he's six and I can't believe it was that long ago. But anyway....props to you for staying with it! I got mastitis and it was SO much worse then before. So I quit and I still feel guilty. Reading this makes me want to try for another so I can try again. I want/need that relationship. As I ramble on, I just wanted to say thank you for your words. Xoxoxo Liz

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