Embracing toddlerhood.

This summer has seemed to fly by at light speed. Here we are at the beginning of August and with the cooler weather we've been having lately, its been feeling pretty fall-esque over here. I'm not ready for fall. I love fall and all its lovely leaves, earthy scents, trips to the orchard and of course, boots. But I know that fall is just a teeny tiny, albeit lovely little sliver of a season to bridge the gap between summer and winter. And I am not a fan of winter, I am not ready for winter. So here we are in August and I'm already dreading the upcoming winter. Cheerful, right?

The truth is, I'm having a bit of a hard time lately with the turning of my baby into a toddler....and so, the turning of the seasons (or impending turning of the seasons?) is getting the brunt of my frustration, I suppose. Like an obsessing about it all the time, misty-eyed whining to Chris every night type of "hard time". But the stage that Navi is in right now is SO fun! Sure I am seeing the start of unpleasantries that are toddler tantrums and other such things, but the good times, oh they are so, so good! She's sassy and sweet, she's communicating and making jokes, giving hugs, blowing my mind with her smarts and making my heart burst on a daily basis. So why am I so hesitant to walk down this road that is toddlerhood? I don't know, really. I guess it just feels too fast. I feel like her infancy and babyhood and all of that just went by so fast. And even though at the time I knew it was going by quickly, at this moment, at this cusp of a new season, it is just hitting me pretty hard. I just want to keep her my baby as long as I can.

Next summer she will be a two-and-some-odd-months year old. The little things she does now that I love so much, will be idiosyncrasies of the past. Chances are, she won't insist on holding my hand 99.9% of the time. Her sun-bleached baby hair will be different, her sweet little tummy will be different, our conversations will be different, our routine will be different and as much as I want so badly to be the person to open-arms embrace all the new milestones and fun that is in store for us, I just cant help but try to back pedal a little. She is my baby only this once, and its for such a short amount of time... But even more than not wanting her to grow up too quickly, what I really don't want is to miss out on any of the new by trying to hold on too tightly to the old. So I'm going to try my best to get out of this little rut that I'm in and let my baby go so she can turn into a toddler... but damn it if I don't do a double take and get all choked up every time I catch our reflections in a mirror when I'm holding her and realize that she looks to be about half my height already. 

As wonderful as I know these coming seasons of our life will be, I know this one will be a season that I always look back on fondly- this beautiful sliver of time when my baby was teetering on the fence between little and big. When everything was new for the first time and she never missed an opportunity to point out a tractor or quack at a duck. So heres to my man and my girl and I sucking every last ounce of fun that this summer has left to offer, to waving at every goose, tossing every ball and going to the park twice in one day. And to savoring the remaining moments of sweet babyhood. 

Oh, and to fully embracing the oncoming toddlerhood. That too. 

And now excuse me while I go wipe away my tears because apparently those things people call "pregnancy hormones" are actually just "mom hormones" and for whatever reason some of us are just set up to be emotional train wrecks for long, long after that little life is born (sorry, Chris :). The end. 



^^^ My very first garden is really thriving, despite being over-planted and under-weeded.
 ^^^ The loveliest of evil eyes on the tree in our front yard. 

3 comments

  1. such a great post. i think every stage will be fun (when I get there that is). She's darling.

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  2. I can relate to you even though Chloe is only 7 months. It seems like these new milestones just pop up out of no wherr and so quickly. It is fun and amzing but makes you miss the previous stage.

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  3. Beautiful pictures and post! I have to fight those mom hormones daily... It breaks my heart, but time is a beast. :-/

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