Life is better with you.

^^^I wrote this on my chalkboard wall a few days ago. I had had a hard day.

Lets be clear, when I say "hard" I don't really mean hard hard. I am so, so blessed with an incredibly beautiful life, a wonderful  husband and a healthy little girl. So whenever I say I had a hard day I always kind of cringe a little bit. I just don't have any right to complain,  you know? Nevertheless, it was hard. Not in a big-things sort of way but in a teeny-tiny-things-that-add-up sort of way.

Navi was at the peak of her sick-spell. Chris and I were up with her from 12am-2am trying to get her to fall back asleep. We were up again at 4am and up for the day at 7am. We were all exhausted and rightfully cranky. Chris went to work, Navi and I held down the fort. We played and went about our normal day-to-day activities but she was just so tired and feeling so lousy that she was pretty unhappy no matter what we did. Come  naptime it was like a replay of the night before all over again. Despite my very best attempts at being a sensei of sleep and her being miserably(!) tired, she just wouldn't nap. I finally got her down around 2pm. She woke up cranky about 40 minutes later and I was pretty geared up for a marathon of an afternoon, counting down the minutes till bedtime.
That evening when Chris got home he played with her upstairs while I stayed downstairs and got dinner ready. I was exhausted and just looking for a little peace and quiet and to free my arms of the 27lbs that they had been carrying around for the majority of the day. I chopped lettuce while playing Pandora radio and I tried to clear my head of the day's events and mostly just ended up beating myself up over not being on my Mama A-Game and over analyzing how I coulda-woulda-shoulda-ed the tiniest details of our day. Then I heard this song and it snapped me out of my funk.

"Every day's not Valentines but you make it feel like most of the time. Picking up pieces of my life sometimes there's ones I just cant find, but they found a home with you.... with you, with you, with you, life is better with you."

I choked up (as I tend to do) and then, I smiled.

Life IS better with Navi. Not that I didn't know that before hearing the song, but it was a nice sentiment and pick-me-up right when I needed it most- so, I wrote it as a reminder on my wall to get me through the rest of the sick days in this strand of baby-illness. And whatdoyaknow, the rest of our night really seemed to look up. I was present. I was patient. I stopped thinking about the things I wanted to get done, rid myself of superficial expectations and just allowed myself to be her uninterrupted-mama. I accepted the fact that our ransacked house, despite days of neglect from having a sick baby in the house,  would just need to wait a while longer before it was tended to. She needed me, even if I wasn't making it better, she still needed me by her side. Maybe she felt the shift in my thoughts, maybe my positive outlook just made things a more rosy color, but the rest of that dreadful day definitely took a turn for the better.

The fact is, I never remember the tough times for very long, and at the end of every day I can always look back and find so many awesome moments, so many times where I thought to myself  "This moment isn't even over yet and I miss it already. Soak it in! Soak it in!". After she goes to bed at night I attempt to straighten up our house that looks like its been swept by a tornado. I always find little pieces of her sprinkled around the house in the sweetest of ways... my sandal in the Tupperware cupboard, a pair of socks in the bathtub or some of her blocks loaded up in the laundry hamper. These discoveries really make my mama-heart soar!

I always have the best days when I let go of any "shoulds" that I have lined up for myself for the day. Whatever I happen to accomplish, I accomplish and I know that come nighttime if there's still laundry piled up high on my couch, that's ok. I might have dropped the ball on one (totally unimportant!) area of life but I was a great mama that day. I wasn't distracted, I wasn't preoccupied. I was right there with my girl, experiencing and rejoicing in this life right along side of her, and that's the good stuff. That's what counts. A sleep deprived, sticky floor, no makeup, food on the ceiling, million-poopy-diaper day with Navi is filled with so much more love and joy than any pre-Navi day could've ever dreamed of.

Life is better with you, sweet girl...and I can't wait to see where you hide my shoe next :)

6 comments

  1. you are so sweet and Navi is lucky to have you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this post in so many ways. Great tune too...puts anyone who is tense at ease.

    I love the end of the day when I can relish about everything that happened, good, and patience testing! And yes the random objects in odd places. I've found Masons toy cars in my purse, in the washer, in the freezer...he's a sneaky little dude. My all time fave has to be all of my wallet contents in his personal kitchen drawer in the kitchen where all his sippy cups, plates and bottles are! I wonder if he and Navi are secretly swapping notes....hmmm....

    .:Marta:.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Nice! Speaking of things in odd locations... I just found some of Navi's little princesses in our pantry tonight...

      Delete
  3. This is such a sweet post. I love your chalkboard too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Christiana! And me too haha! It was such a boring wall until we did the chalkboard paint and now it is easily one of my very favorite places in our house :)

      Delete

Thank you so much for your comment, I read and appreciate each one!

Back to Top